Reflecting

I am currently one-and-twenty (Thanks for that, Jane Austen). It doesn't really feel any different. Those of you who are older than me know this, but those who are younger - I'm sorry to disappoint. While watching a talk show on my actual birthday, the guest, Michael Vartan (who was just as gorgeous as ever minus the molestash [ew]) told everyone he had just turned 40 and stated, "I just turned 21 three months ago, what happened?!" So now I am in the state of mind that time is short, and I feel like in three short months I'll be 40 and looking back on this time wondering where it went. That's enough to scare you. I think more than anything else, I don't want to waste my life (awesome book by John Piper, btw).

There are a few quotes I'd like to point out:

"And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years." - Abraham Lincoln

"Everyone dies, but not everyone truly lives." - Braveheart

And finally, a verse that I think about very often:

"So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom." Psalm 90:12

The context surrounding this verse talks about how we are like grass and that God returns us to the dust. I heard a pastor talk on similar verses at summer camp. It was on James 4:14, "yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes." The pastor took out a spray bottle and had someone ready to time how long the mist appeared. The camper didn't even start the timer by the time the mist disappeared. Reflecting on this now, I am even more concerned about how I spend the time that God has given me. Have I used it wisely? Have I made them count?

One of the things that matters to me more than anything are friends. One of my dear friends was getting so caught up in school and other "busy-ness" that I never heard from her. We finally got a chance to talk one day and she said she had unfortunately had to ignore some friendships for a while and focus on all the other things in her life she had to do. I told her, "But what is going to be more important in the long run?" To me, sacrificing a better grade in a class to comfort a friend who needs to talk when I really need to study or putting something off for a few hours just to let someone knowI care isn't a hard decision. I try and make friends and people a priority. Sometimes I think I put too much effort into relationships, and I get drastically disappointed. Frustrated that I put time into relationships, but don't feel reciprocation. Yet, isn't it treat others as you would have them treat you not treat others as they do treat you?

Digressing from the reflecting (it's getting a little heavy for a 21 year old, don't you think?), my parents and sister set up a little surprise party of friends to come over on my birthday. It was wonderful. I can't remember a much better birthday. Truly.

I guess I'm just ending this by going back to the verse, and praying that God would teach me how to number my days so I would fill them with meaning.